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Very afraid

#1
Hi everyone.

I am a long-time severe anxiety sufferer. I have been to doctors for it, and have even been hospitalized for it. I've had CBT and psychological therapy for it. But of course the thing that helped the most was meds. Innitially Paxil, which I tried getting off of after a couple of years only to suffer for it. And then Celexa, which all around was much easier on me.

The problem is that the Celexa has "pooped out" on me. I am back to my pre-treatment level of anxiety. (and the depression taht follows it)

It would seem simple enough that I need to go see the doctor, both for a check up, and to get on another treatment. BUt see the biggest part of my anxiety is actually health related, with doctor visits being akin to jumping into a pit of writhing snakes for most other people. It's a terror beyond belief.

I have had a bottle of SJW for a few months now that I thought I might try, if for nothing else than to give me the courage to go see the doc. Earlier this week I started on it. I take 2 capsules, 12 hours apart, totalling 600 mg a day. I can't say it has done anything for me at this point, but I'm not expecting anything really until 6 weeks or more, as per any standard SSRI.

I've got some worries though. For one, I'm very worried if it will actually help me any. Secondly, I also take Klonopon/Clonazepam for breakthrough or unbearable anxiety. But now I've read that SJW may weaken or nullify the help I get from that.

Also, reading the posts in this forum actually gave me a panic attack before seeing how it can have all these potential side-effects. I suppose I shouldn't let it get to me. I know I would read the same if not worse on an SSRI based forum, but the state of my emotions these days is such that things that never troubled me before are giving me panic attacks. Needless to say that for the time being, I think it best not to read the posts.

I take no other meds other than pain killers for my all-too-frequent headaches. I don't drink either.

So anyway, that's my story. I am very much living on a day to day basis, with mostly bad days. I think I am surviving by knowing that I've been through this before, and got through it. But I'm sure you can see that I am hoping for some real relief from this. But I'm scared. And tired and depressed.

Well, at least I'm not getting any neck zaps so far. Those are the worst. :frown:

Thanks for the forum.