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Hey guys, I'm desperate... 23 year old male

Ok, I just learned a little while ago that I have had a chemical imbalance in my head for about 5 years now... since I was 18. Suddenly the past 5 years of my life ALL made such complete sense... I was arrested 5 times, was doing lots of drugs/smoking marijuana (self-medicating the depression), dropped out of college at 19, and really drug my family down. I have been to HELL and back and I could never figure out why...

Now I know it's ALLLLLLLL because I was so depressed! Now I see it and I can't live like this any more. I know for a 100% fact now that I had a severe chemical imbalance in my head...

You guys can't imagine how much pain I'm in right now to see my late teens/ early 20's go down the drain cause of depression... I'm on this forum cause I'm desperate.

I was always scared of antidepressants because of all the horror stories so I started St. Johns Wort a few days ago.

So far it makes me feel around 30% better... I need 100% better. I need to get my life together, I can't believe I'm this age and never got to experience being the real me all the f*****g time. It hurts so bad...

My question is, should I stay on St. Johns Wort? I turn 24 in May and I'm freaking out so bad because of seeing my youth go down the drain like that. I can't wait 3+ months for this stuff to work... if that's the case then I'm going to go on a real antidepressant.

Any opinions would be greatly appreciated...
Hang in there man. I have a similar story, drugs/jail, concussions. Went from Ivy League to 'mom's basement'. Am 25 male now.

Do some research, try to find the best balance for you. I'm not 'fixed', but I have to say I'm in a hell of a lot better place than I was 3 years ago in jail and dropping out of school, and wanting suicide.

It may not take you as long as it did me, but it might honestly take some time before you get it all figured. It sucks pissing away 'twilight' years, so I feel you on that. But, if you're like me, I'd rather be better than going back out and failing at the same old ****.

Am finally reapplying to schools
Hey, I want to let you know you aren't alone. I, too, was in a dark place. It didn't get legal, but it did get close a couple of times. Out of anxious fits I would yell stuff, say things I didn't mean, phsyically hurt people...I even broke a couple of things, not realizing what I had done until it was too late.

I felt like everything was so out of control...and there were times I wished I was dead.

I just started on SJW myself. I did start to feel effects pretty quickly, but more often than not, SJW takes time to adjust to. It's not going to be an overnight thing.

I really hope that SJW does work for you, or that there is something for you that works if SJW wasn't your destined road to take to happiness. Best of luck to you.


Regular Member
Well, why are you scared from anti depressants? I think there is no need to scare from anti depressnats. They are good and are really effective.
Starting new...

Hey there:

*BIG HUGE HUGGGS* Know that you are not alone. My early adult life and teen years were lost from living with an abusive parent, then spouse and being in the cloud of depression and anxiety. Once I was diagnosed with anxiety/depression it still took many years of experimenting with drugs to try and find something that will work. I'm now 44 years old and am on 5-HTP and waiting for the St. John's Wort to come in the mail. My doctor actually suggested I try it.

Know that you are still young and you have your whole life ahead of you! I wish I was your age! Rejoice that now you understand what took control of your life. Now you can take control! Give the St. John's Wort a little longer time to work; perhaps up the dose. Natural Supplements sometimes take a longer period than the traditional drugs. The nice thing about natural supplements is that you don't have those horrifying side effects. So, give it some time. While you do so, think about your future and what makes you happy. Then plan and do what makes you happy. :glasses:

Just take it one step at a time and you'll do great! Try not to think so much of the past and look forward for a great future! Remember we are all human and we all have our falls. I wish you great success and happiness!:D
fionadirk;13337 said:
Well, why are you scared from anti depressants? I think there is no need to scare from anti depressnats. They are good and are really effective.
They are effective but you don't realize the risks involved. SSRI's can cause permenant problems in some individuals and there is a slew of new studies that show this.

Visit sites Survivingantidepressants.org
paxilprogress.org and read the thousands and thousands of horror stories on there.

I am suffering from SSRI withdrawal now and have been for 5months now. They have destroyed my memory abitlity to think and given me severe insomnia which still has not passed.
I agree with Anxiety Boy..

Heya. Just hang on and try the St. John's Wort for a while. Do check out the sites he listed. I understand first hand about the side effects and who knows what kind of permanent damage those drugs can do. I've now been on SJW for just 3 days (150mg in the morning) and 5-HTP (100mg) at night. The HTP helps a little for mood but definitely gives me a good night's rest. I'm already noticing a positive difference with the SJW. My system tends to react quickly to drugs and herbs but everyone is different.

We're all here for ya! Let us know how things go! :smile: