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Depressed or just unhappy and lonely

In Jan 2005 by life span out of control and has been hellish ever since. I have tried anti depressants - made be feel suicidal and ended up admitting my self to a physciatric hospital - brilliant - they combined this with other valium type drugs to relieve the anxiety and sleeping tablets - nice withdrawal symptoms! Thanks for that.

I am SO ANGRY about they way my life has gone - I had a beautiful girlfriend and a good job but I pannicked and lost it. For the last 18 months I have tried it all - 5 HTP, Chines Herbs, Accupuncture, SJW, but is there really a cure of desperate unhappiness - self loathing, low self esteem, feelings of failure and inadequacy?

I have seen physcotherapists etc and now just feel that I am branded a lost cause. I cant cope with stress and have little pleasure in life What is the point - i suffer panic attacks, rages etc. Yesterday I sat in bed with a bottle of pills cutting myself with a razor blade - I dont know what to do. I am lost.
thanks for logging on...

I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a hellish time. That sucks.

If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to share my journey with you, maybe you'll get something out of it....

For the last year I've been having a melt down. I grew more and more anxious and about a year ago I really thought I was going to die. I had a 5 day panic attack. I couldn't stop shaking, couldn't make it to the kitchen for something to eat and I didn't sleep for 5 nights (and because of the lack of sleep I started to hallucinate). That sucked. I went to the emergency mental health clinic. and after talking with me for about 3minutes the prescriber wrote a list of sample medications and told me to pick one.
PICK ONE???? yep-pick one. THAT WAS GREAT. I'd just moved to the state and didn't have anyone to help so I asked them if they could put me some where because I was affraid that I'd starve to death in my own house. They said something like - nope, Oregon doesn't really have any mental homes. But you can go to the E R if you like. They'll keep you over night.

After that I slept 18 hours a night, had 6hour long crying fitts and at times I couldn't stop shaking. THAT WAS FUN. not

So It's been about 16 mo since then. And I've tried acupuncture 3 times a week, 5htp, crazy alterations in my diet, standard western medicine and Qi Gong. Finally what is working are the treatments prescribed for The Pfeiffer Treatment Center. I've found out through testing is that I had high levals of toxic metals in my body, which interfere in the production of neurotransmitters! Also, I had an over abundence of other nutriants in my blood stream.

I'd highly recommend that you take a look at the research papers on their web site. It will empower you with options. here's the site....


I quallified for the "Hope Fund" and they picked up my entire tab for treatment! I'm really begining to live a normal life again!

You'd mentioned in your note that you weren't sure if you were just unhappy or depressed... The depth of your suffering sounds to me that you do have some type of chemical imbalance going on. And I really do believe that you do need help. I also believe that you can find that help. It sounds like you've really tried alot of things and that's great. And It really sucks that nothing has really worked yet, but there are other things out there that can help. Honestly, I think your problem could be as simple as a toxic build up in your blood stream! Or even round worms. (sometimes people have parasites that get into the brain. And they can be gotten rid of!) It doesn't make the imediate minute any easier but it is fixable. --But I'm not quallified to tell you which tests you should take.... Do you have a good naturopath in your area who could guide you through this process?? Or even better yet maybe you could go the the Pfeiffer Treatment Center! hriptc.org

Please keep writing in to let us know how you are doing.
hey pdx thanks for such a thoughtful response.

It sounds like you know where I am coming from - i too have suffered the same sort of panc attacks you talk about and know how awful it feels.

This Pfiefer thing you are talking about sounds realy interesting. I will check it out - its quite funny to think that someone halfway across the world has taken the time to respond to my needs.

I have decided to take control of the situation wth my "girlfriend" and call an end to it. At the end of the day i think that has been a huge catalyst in my demise - because I do not live up to her expectations. She has basically said to me for a year and a half "you cant give me what i need" That used to make be feel even more inadequate and I was always so intent on trying to make her happy I didnt realise it was grinding me further and further down - it wasnt intil yesterday when when of my old friends said to me "I will get you through this and I dont care how long it takes" that i realised what was missing from my relationship. Sorry - this must be really boring for anyone else to read but in a way it is making me feel a bit better.

I think I would benefit from some counselling aswell but you know what its like - who do you go to see - will they make the problem worse etc.

Just as an aside - those Chinese herbs taste like **** dont they!!

Getting back to the point I would love to try to find some way of clensing my body - I have been thinking about some kind of retreat -just walking for days - drinking loads of water - getting my sleeping paterns back into line - eating good food - painting etc. I think thius is the kind of stuff which should be provided to depressed people rather than that poison the drug companies supply.

I know I sound really bitter and I am. Honestly, you know what its like to see your life fall away - and the further you fall the faster you keep on falling. I some times just sit and think - how the **** did that happen.

So you are doing well now - do you know why you were in that situation in the first place and what changed to get you out of it?

I really appreciate your kind words - you are obviously a dude!

yep, lots of chinese herbs tast like donkey crap

Ya, your right. Lots of chinese herbs taste like donkey crap. Well, your right, cleansing is important! I would not advise that you go on a
"liquid only" fast at this point, though. ... different types of fasts are approprate for different times in a persons' healing process. At this time it is vital for your body to have the nutrients it needs to rebuild. Because your body can rebuild if it has the raw materials... I'd like to suggest that if you'd like to cleanse. It would be more suiting to eat one meal of cooked vegitables per day. Weather it's breakfast, lunch or dinner. The key is to cook the vegitables so the nutrients are more readily availible for your body, but don't over cook. It is preferable if you eat under 3 vegitables in this meal, and it's even better if you can eat only 2 or 1!

Have you read anything about how amino acids help build neurotransmitters? -- like seratonin, norepinephrine, dopamine and others?
These amino acids are found in meat! I would defenately reccomend that you eat a bit of meat a day, they are availible in nuts too. But I don't reccomend that you eat a whole bunch of nuts, though, for other reasons-I just don't want to bore you with too much info... I'm studying natural medicine at this time and alot of this stuff is required reading for my classes... I hope that it can help you! I'm very happy to see that you feel a bit of inspiration to do stuff! that's cool!

Hey, what part of the country do you live in? Are there any good naturopaths in your area? Did I say anything in my first email about truley believing that you need a healthcare practitioner to see you through, and help guide you. What you're going through is so damn hard and I know that it's hard to trust a healthcare practitioner. And you don't have to! but I believe that it would only help you! If you get tested and know that you have mineral imbalances or parasites you'll know what to do... you can even do your own research online or at the library. But most importantly, you'll have a solid direction to go in. A direction that the fruit of your labor will repay you 10 fold. You can do it, you just gotta know what to do...

Do I sound like a "mom", I'm sorry if I do. I'm a girl -- it's in my nature...

Thanks for writing back, please keep letting us know how your doing

One thing I would highly recommend if you truly want to detox all the crap out of your body is a far-infrared sauna. You can purchase them for home use, or find a gym or wellness center that has one. Here is a link to the one I am going to purchase for my wellness center. On the right, there are links to the benefits a sauna has on your body. http://www.luxsauna.com/categories.php

Hang in there. I just started taking SJW today. It took me 5, maybe 10 years to come to terms with my depression. I just thought I was unhappy, not depressed. After doing tests online on several sites, it has been determined that I have Major Depression. They say the first step is to know there is a problem. It's at least a start.

Godd luck in your journey,